


The Past is Just a Story

by TheGreenMeerkat



Series: TAOBH Universe [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cussing, Fights, He's not Evil tho, Kinda also sequel, M/M, Manipulative Deceit Sanders, Prequel, bits of fluff at the end, just has bad morals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 14:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17747435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenMeerkat/pseuds/TheGreenMeerkat
Summary: Anxiety and Deceit were never friends.However, maybe Virgil and Ciar were, just a little bit.(Prequel(/sequel?) to The Aspects of Being Human, but can be read alone!)





	The Past is Just a Story

**Author's Note:**

> Oh h e l l o  
> I wasn't sure if I was ever going to post this, but either way I was GONNA write it so hey might as well show the world
> 
> As said, this is a prequel to TAOBH but can be read alone. BUT if you're gonna read TAOBH anyway, I think it's a better experience to read that first (but I'm biased lol)
> 
> TW: Manipulative Deceit, very slightly Sympathetic Deceit at times, Fighting (verbally), let me know if there's anything else I should add

    “Deceit, it’s time we talked.”

    The snake’s room was a design Anxiety had never seen before that day. Sometimes, it was a massive ballroom or a gorgeous indoor garden. Other times, it was shrouded in complete darkness with his voice echoing around you, or just a simple bedroom mirroring Thomas’s. On this day, all there was in the center of a blank room was a round table with two chairs.

_ A negotiations table,  _ Virgil thought.

    As always, Deceit popped up out of nowhere, too good to “rise up” as the main sides did. He sat in one of the chairs with his white-gloved hands held together on the table. Anxiety never quite understood Deceit’s style; it was just a typical black and white suit with a top hat - a magician, master of deception and all that, but it didn’t go with his scaly reptile face at all.

    Not that Anxiety was all that much of a fashionista. He wore the same hoodie, every single day and night, with the same black jeans. But, hey, at least that actually  _ fit _ his overall aesthetic.

    “You’ve outdone yourself, Anxiety,” Deceit began in a mocking tone. “You finally got our young Thomas to notice you. What an accomplishment!”

    Anxiety crossed his arms and scoffed, deciding not to sit down yet. “Don’t get mad at me, you know it wasn’t by choice.”

    “Not by choice?” The lying side stood up to be at level with Anxiety. His one snake-like pupil was possibly thinner than he’s ever seen before- not that it scared him. “Yes, because you  _ totally _ didn’t choose to parade around with the main sides, and that  _ totally  _ didn’t practically force Thomas to hear who was finally complaining in his head.”

    “I was worried for him!”

    “Were you? Or is that the teenage hormones talking?”

    “I’m  _ trying  _ to protect him, Deceit!”

    “That’s  _ my  _ job!  _ Yours _ is to stay-” the snake suddenly stopped himself, letting out an exasperated sigh and unclenching his fists. “You  _ did  _ come to me to fight.”

    “Right.” Anxiety let himself ease up, too. They were never going to agree on the situation at hand, but there were other things they could agree on, just maybe. He moved to sit in one of the chairs, gesturing with his chin for Deceit to sit in the other. “Sit. I believe we have some deals to make, correct?”

    Deceit, despite rolling his eyes, complied without any further complaints. “I’ll oh-so-graciously allow you to start, then. What are these so-called ‘deals,’ Anxiety?”

    “I’m not a dark side anymore.”

    There was a moment of silence, until…

    Deceit began to laugh without restraint. “O-oh, that is rich. You think just because little ol’ Thomas knows of your existence, you’re suddenly a light side!” The snake suddenly grew serious, leaning over the table and staring directly at the other. “Newsflash, Anxiety: Thomas  _ hates  _ you. You can  _ never _ be more than a dark side.”

    Whatever game Deceit was trying to play, it wouldn’t work this time. They both knew the truth about Anxiety, though maybe the other side didn’t quite see the point yet. “I’m not a dark side, and I’m not a light side either. But, and this is the best part, I’m not like  _ you  _ either. Unlike you, Thomas knows I exist. I have power that you don’t.”

    “Maybe, but wasn’t that always the case? Isn’t that why I had to keep you in line? Besides, I still have power being invisible that you now don’t-” A look of realization suddenly dawned upon the snake, before an almost sinister smile grew on his lips. “Oh ho ho, Anxiety, you are smarter than I once thought. You want to work together.”

    “I think that would be beneficial for both of us.” Anxiety tried his hardest to keep his voice level and calm, despite the aggressive beating of his heart. God, he sounded like Logic. “Do you agree?”

    “What are your conditions?” he asked, not giving a yes or no. However, Anxiety knew that meant “yes” - it was an excuse for Deceit to both not lie and not tell the truth.

    “Obviously we’re never going to like each other, but if this is gonna work, we need  _ some  _ mutual trust.” Anxiety lifted up his hand as an example. “This? That damn silencing thing you do? That’ll be an example of a break of trust. We’re not doing that.”

    “Done,” Deceit simply stated. That almost surprises the anxious side; he thought Deceit would be a little less enthused about the idea of giving Anxiety that much trust, but apparently he really did want this deal. “What else?”

    “In return, I won’t use any of my own abilities against you.”

    “Of course.”

    “And,” Anxiety was particularly nervous about this part. He was told all his life that this was something you don’t reveal to anyone, that it held power and trust that even most of the light sides somewhat understood - except Logic, who seemed to be willing to give his away to anyone. “We should exchange names.”

    The snake smiled, seemingly unsurprised by the offer. “You are just full of good ideas today, aren’t you? And that’s not even a lie.” He suddenly stood up, which didn’t surprise Anxiety. Deceit was never made to sit or stand in one place, for some reason. “Once we do this, there’s no giving it back. Do you have any other conditions?”

    The anxious side thought for a moment. Deceit seemed to understand the idea enough. With them as a sort of ‘team,’ they could both help and control each other. Deceit would have better control over the dark sides with them trusting Anxiety more. Anxiety had direct power over Thomas and the main sides along with the support of someone who could silence them with one motion. The point was, they were both protectors in their own sense, they just need the other to keep them in place.

    “No, I think that’s about it.” Anxiety stood up, too. No longer would either of them be taller than the other. He stretched out his hand. No contracts, obviously; they don’t really mean much when you can conjure up any piece of paper in a snap. “Deal?”

    Deceit took his hand without any hesitation. “My name is Ciar.”

    “...Keer?” Well, it’s not that Anxiety could really judge it. Maybe all non-light sides were cursed with weird names.

    Deceit- or  _ ‘Keer’  _ rolled his eyes. “Yes, spelled C-I-A-R. You’re the first to ever be granted access to this information, so don’t go taking it for granted.” Ciar kept hold of Anxiety’s hand, a sign that the deal wasn’t quite over yet.

    “... _ Virgil. _ My name is Virgil.” It felt incredibly strange to say that out loud, but also… invigorating? Relieving? For people, your name is one of the first things you would tell someone. You would hear it over and over again, 24/7, every day of your life, and most wouldn't even think about it. Anxiety’s never even said his name out loud before, and now he had someone who would be calling him by said name? He was sure it was just as weird for De- Ciar, too.

    He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that name.  _ Ciar.  _ It just didn’t quite fit Deceit’s face, but he'd try his best to use it if he did the same for Virgil.

    After that initial encounter, Virgil and Ciar became a force to be reckoned with, yet most didn't even know. They both propelled each other forward and held each other back. For Virgil, It felt strangely safe, in a way. He never had to worry about going too far, letting the power he had win over his care for Thomas, because there would always be a snake to stop him. He also never had to worry about Ciar's influence becoming too strong, as now the deceitful side had Virgil to go into the front lines for him if ever needed.

    Sometimes, lies and fears went very well together.

    Virgil started to learn a lot more about Ciar, too. He saw the side of him that every facet had, the one that loved and cared for Thomas deeply. He would protect his host at all costs first and foremost, as would Virgil. However, Ciar was never one to willingly share these feelings, or  _ any _ emotions in general. Later, Virgil would learn why:

    “My role as Deceit requires me to be skilled at manipulation. To be less emotional means to appear more in control. Ciar suddenly scowled. “Emotional vulnerability can also be an effective manipulation tactic, but it's not my…  _ favored  _ technique.”

    In all honesty, Virgil was terrified of Ciar's skills in manipulation. Not only could he manipulate someone as himself, a snake whispering in your ear, but he could also change into  _ anyone  _ he wanted to. Any side could do this, but Deceit was particularly skilled in acting out a side's role perfectly. He learned more and more about his tactics every day, though, and that certainly helped calm his nerves.

    Virgil also began to learn how to properly understand Deceit. Every day, month, year, he got better at understand lies and riddles that came from his mouth. Sometimes, Ciar even tested him on it. He doesn't know how he can tell between the side's truth and lies, as he doesn't have any real tells, but maybe it has something more to do with the subtle body language and tone you only know from someone you're with a lot.

    Most of their meetings were “business” related, but sometimes - not often, in fact quite rare, but an increased number every year - there would be… moments.

    Ciar does an exaggerated mimic of a stoic Logan or a dramatic Roman, making both of them laugh.

    Virgil gives Ciar an “insulting” nickname involving reptiles, and Ciar “ _ absolutely  _ hates it.”

    Anxiety would fall into panic because of a lie Deceit had him tell, and Ciar would reassure him that they were okay (It was the only time Virgil couldn't tell if he was lying or not).

    Ciar would be too tired to talk professionally, and next thing they know they're on the ground talking about birds.

    Virgil would walk in on Ciar wrapped in a hundred blankets in the winter, despite the still-warmth of Florida, and tease him almost mercilessly until the snake was hissing at him to leave.

    They weren't friends. They  _ couldn't  _ have been, not with how they opposed each other and not with how few and far between those moments were. But it was… something. There was a touch of care in there that Virgil never wanted to admit to.

    Thomas was 24 when it finally ended.

    Eight years of their lives were spent in that deal. At that point, it was an entire third of Thomas's and Virgil's life. For Ciar, likely being born later, it was an even bigger percentage.

    It didn't just break in one night. The partnership was  _ never _ healthy, no matter how many better moments were sprinkled throughout. Deceit was still manipulating Anxiety, still wanting to keep him under the wings of the dark sides. It didn't matter if  _ Ciar _ grew to care about  _ Virgil _ because, in the long run, Anxiety would always be a threat to Deceit.

    Anxiety was Virgil and Deceit was Ciar, and they eventually had to stop pretending they were different people.

    “Ciar, we need to talk,” he said on that fateful night in September of 2014. By this time, Thomas was already posting Vines that were starting to get popular. Despite all that, those words made him feel like 16-year-old Anxiety again, nervously entering Deceit's room to make deals.

    He wasn't here to make deals this time. He was here to  _ end  _ them.

    That's what he likes to think, that he went in with the goal of breaking all deals with Ciar, but that couldn't be farther than the truth. In all of his life, Ciar was the closest thing he had and probably ever would have to any real bonds, and letting it go was  _ not  _ something he wanted.

    Without Ciar, Virgil would be Anxiety again. How lonely would it be to never hear your name spoken again? How painful would it be to have to run to sides who hate him because he wasn't allowed with the sides he grew up with any more?

    “I can't do this anymore.”

    “...What?” Ciar sounded genuinely confused, despite the increase in fights they've been having.

    “I can't be controlled like this anymore!” He surprised himself, how easy and quick it all came out of his lips. “The number of times you've told me I'm dangerous, I'm dark, I'm corruptive? The number of times I felt like leaving for  _ good _ because you convinced me I was the bad guy? Then you turn around and make me do  _ horrible _ things, make Morality hate me? So many times you convinced me to make Thomas tell lies to his friends  _ knowing  _ how it made me feel, knowing that the anxiety it caused made me sick to my stomach and near damn panicking, yet you did it  _ so. Many. Times. _ And- and the worst part is, I  _ knew _ this would happen. I knew making a deal with you would require me to deal with so much bullshit manipulation because you still think I'm a dark side, but I did it anyway. I-”

    “Stop,” Ciar interrupted Virgil's rant with a white-gloved hand up. “ _ Manipulation? _ Virgil, wasn't the entire point of this little deal to be able to control each other? You made this deal not just to control me, but because you  _ knew  _ you needed to be controlled.”

    “I  _ thought _ I did because that's what you've been telling me for my entire goddamn life! I get that you think you've been protecting Thomas--”

    “Do you really think after all this time, it's just for Thomas?” At that moment, Virgil saw a change in Ciar's infliction. It was raw, unguarded, not the perfectly calculated side he was used to seeing every day. “Because it's  _ not _ like we're all part of Thomas. It's  _ not  _ like, maybe, I aim to protect all of us, dark and light. This “manipulation” you speak of is totally  _ not  _ my last chance at protecting you!”

    Virgil laughed bitterly. “So let me get this straight, Ciar. You made me feel like the worst side in existence all my life, but, oh, it was to  _ protect _ me! Then I manage to finally be acknowledged by our host, and you realize you're suddenly failing at your job, so you take the last chance you get to make me feel like shit. But it's all okay because it's to protect me, right?”

    “I'm keeping everyone  safe!”

    “By lying and making  me the bad guy!”

    “You're a  _ fucking _ dark side, Virgil!”

    “Deceit,” the first break,  _ “You're _ the dar-”

    Virgil's hand moved on its own to cover his own mouth. The second break.

    There was only a moment's pause, Anxiety and Deceit with the same shocked looks on their faces, before the hand was slowly removed. No words were said, no dramatic exits were made; Anxiety simply turned around and left.

    But later that night, when things were much more  sorrowful calm, Deceit came to Anxiety's room. He was strangely vulnerable, not wearing a hat or suit jacket yet still keeping the gloves - not that it was surprising; even in the snake's pyjamas, he always wore the gloves.

    They stood side by side against the edge of Anxiety's bed solemnly, almost as if they were reminiscing.

    “One last deal, Anxiety.”

    “Deceit.”

    That's all that had to be said, yet just that made Anxiety choke up with blurry eyes. He would never be Virgil again, but strangely enough, that wasn't the only reason for his sudden sadness.

    He was going to miss saying his name, the name of what some might call Anxiety's abuser (though that word felt a bit too extreme on his tongue). He was going to miss saying a  _ name  _ in general, because there was no way he'd ever be trusted with one ever again. Although, the light sides seem to be a bit more carefree about names.

    Anxiety was supposed to feel free after breaking the deal with Ci-  _ Deceit,  _ but he just felt trapped in a whole new way.

 

    “So a video, huh?”

    “Hello to you too, Deceit.” This was the first time Anxiety was seeing, much less  _ talking  _ to Deceit in the last two years, yet he had a feeling the snake would give him a visit today. “Thanks for popping into my room uninvited,  _ totally _ appreciated.”

    Deceit chose to ignore the comment. “You seemed to be acting quite antagonistic out there.”

    “Yeah, kinda had to. How else would I ever get the guy to listen to me?” Oh.  _ Shit. _

    The scaly side smiled wickedly. “Sounds familiar, doesn't it?” Something about this was… off. This wasn't the same Deceit, and Anxiety's not sure if it's better or worse. (Worse. Always worse.)

    Wait. “What the hell is with the new costume? You look like a wannabe Disney villain.”

    He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but then gave a low, breathy laugh. He even  _ sounded _ like a Disney villain. “You see, Anxiety, I've had a change of heart somewhat recently, and I thought I should give you some credit.

    Anxiety raised a brow. “Your change of heart requires you to dress like you're gonna give a girl a poison apple?”

    “You were right, all those years ago; I am officially a dark side.”

    Oh, things would only go downhill from here.

//

    “Did he keep coming after that?” Logan asked from his spot on the edge of the couch.

    “After every damn video, pretty much.” Virgil started counting on his fingers. “Telling me what I'm doing wrong, how I'm making Thomas's life worse, saying I'm just like him, taunting me about my crush-” Roman's hand tightened around Virgil's at that one, making him smile just slightly.

    “How long has it been?” Patton asked worriedly, pressing against Virgil's side. “He doesn't still bug you, right Kiddo?”

    Virgil shook his head. “He stopped showing up after I revealed my name.” When he first heard the others call them Virgil, a sick feeling developed with the pleasant feelings he was having. It almost felt wrong to hear it come from someone else, and he knew there was another name he would never get out of his head.

    “Was he there before you… you know?” Roman whispered. He was trying to be respectful as possible, but Virgil could sense the bit of anger in his words.

    The anxious side had to let out a laugh at that. “He popped up, saw me crying on the floor, and left without a word. He definitely didn't know what I was gonna do.”

    Logan hummed. “But doesn't he see almost everything? He could have stopped you once he did.”

    He's… never thought about that before.

    Noticing Virgil's discomfort, the logical side changed the subject. “Why do you think he suddenly changed his opinion on himself and began using the ‘dark side’ label?”

    “Honestly? No clue, but here's a fun fact. I looked up his name once.” He didn't tell any of them the actual name, mostly because it would break their final deal but also because Virgil was a bit selfish and wanted to still be the only one with that knowledge. “His name literally just means  _ 'dark.’ _ It's kinda sad, if you think about it.”

    “And why do you think he's been doing all these somewhat nice things for us suddenly? Is he trying to gain our trust so he can manipulate  _ us,  _ too?” He knew telling Roman all this would forever shape his opinion on the snake to be only evil, but that was just how Roman's mind worked.

    “I wish I knew. L, any theories?”

    “Well, while it may just be he simply wants to have more control over Thomas once again, I have… another hypothesis as well.” Logan used the hand he didn’t have intertwined with Patton's to adjust his glasses. “There was obviously a time Deceit cared for you, Virgil. Perhaps, and this really is just a hypothesis, he still does, but knows an apology would never be enough to fix things. In response, he comes up with a plan. Step one of that plan is to gain some of your trust back by doing good deeds for your friends.”

    Virgil groaned, burying his face in his hands- well, hand, as Roman was definitely not letting go of the other one anytime soon. “Can we talk about this later? I don't want to think about this anymore.”

    “Of course, Kiddo. We'll continue this later, whenever you're ready to talk more.” Patton wrapped his arms around the anxious side in a warm hug. “I'm so proud of you, for telling that story  _ and  _ living it. Don't you ever forget that, okay?”

    “I won't.” Virgil hugged the father figure back gratefully. “Thanks, Pat.”

    “I am not one to dwell on the past, but…” Logan reached over to put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. “I'm glad that despite everything you've been through, you were led here.”

    “I am, too.”

    Later that night, in Creativity's room, Virgil had himself wrapped in his boyfriend's arms. This was a typical occurrence, sure, but something about this instance felt different. Virgil felt... like he was being protected, more so than usual.

    Maybe Deceit never truly knew what it meant to protect someone because he never felt protected himself.

    “You know I'm never gonna trust that snake now, right?” Roman suddenly spoke into Virgil's shoulder. “And you  _ bet _ I'm never letting him around you alone again.”

    “Yeah,” Virgil sighed. He wanted to say the same, but he wasn't sure if that was true. If Deceit ever really did want to be redeemed…

    “Do you ever miss him?”

    “Why?” Virgil moved away just enough so he could look at Roman with a taunting face. “You jealous or something?”

    Roman made a noise of protest, an offended hand pressed against his chest. “I don't get  _ jealous! _ I really am just curious. I know you weren't quite friends, but you two clearly had  _ some  _ empathy for each other, right?”

    “I don't miss him anymore, but…” the anxious side let out a sigh. “He was pretty much the only side who bothered to talk to me. He  _ trusted _ me when everyone else hated me. And yeah, he made me feel like shit, but he was the only one there to make me feel better, too. The years between now and that fight were possibly worse than my time with him.”

    There was a pause before Roman wrapped his arms tightly around Virgil. It wasn't the same protective grip from before, but something much sadder and one the anxious side had grown quite used to. It was of guilt and fear, it said  _ I'm not leaving  _ and  _ please don't leave _ at the same time.

    “I'm sorry,” Roman whispered. They've found in their months of dating that the romantic side was not good at comforting people. He was a man of action, striking at anything who dares to hurt him or the people he loves, but Virgil's problems are different. You can't strike panic attacks or, in this case, years of neglect with a sword.

    Recently, they've been developing more systems that work for them, including nonverbal communication methods. Virgil taps against Roman's back three times, making the romantic side loosen the embrace. For most couples, that would symbolize something like  _ I love you. _

    For them, it has grown to have many meanings depending on context, but it's always relating to a phrase Patton once told them:

    The past is just a story, and the ending is what you make it.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all really don't know how l o n g this took me to write and how much thought went into every line. There's so much symbolism, so many parallels and patterns- Is it good? Probably not but I WORKED HARD ON IT DAMMIT
> 
> As always, comment if you enjoyed!
> 
> Tumblr: @Green-writes-sanderssides


End file.
